Category: Emotional Healing


October 24, 2012
How to Manage Emotions Part 2
Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. – (Proverbs 25:28, NIV).

Friend to Friend
Many people are imprisoned by feelings of inferiority, and the results are always disastrous. Constructive criticism is perceived as an emotional attack. Jealousy burgeons as others receive the accolades we desperately crave. Decisions are made and the course of a life is determined so that fragile egos are fed, excluding God’s plan and purpose. Comparison reigns as a false idol attempting to validate worth and success. Inferiority crosses over to pride, and sin reigns. It is time for us to take control of and learn how to manage negative emotions.

Step one:Identify the source of negative emotions. Proverbs 23:7 (NIV) reminds us of a simple but powerful truth, “For as a man thinks, so is he.” Negative emotions are nourished in many ways – by daily challenges, a painful past, hurt or rejection, an undisciplined thought life or Satan himself. Some people qualify as “carriers” because they not only transmit negative emotions but constantly use others as their personal dumping ground.  In managing negative emotions, it is imperative that we identify their source and eliminate it.

Step two: Label negative emotions correctly. We are masters at mislabeling emotions because we fear exposing our true emotions will affect the way others see us. It is time for us to take off and burn the emotional masks we wear because healing and restoration begin at the point of emotional integrity.

Step three: Learn to manage emotions. It is not enough to acknowledge the presence of negative emotions or even understand why they exist. We must take action because if we don’t, negative emotions will. We must not only be able to manage negative emotions, but we must be able to respond correctly to negative emotions produced by the sometimes abrasive behavior of others. The people in our lives watch carefully, curious to see what happens when the pressure is on. Our prayer should be the same as the psalmist, “Create in me a new, clean heart, O God, filled with clean thoughts and right desires” (Psalm 51:10).

On the other hand, we can put negative emotions to work in our lives. Emotions can be like runaway horses.  You are trampled by someone with a hidden agenda, kicked in the gut by a friend, thrown by the lies of a family member or crushed by a lack of integrity and character in those in authority over you. Emotions can easily stampede out of control and into sin.

The success of emotional integrity lies in the one who holds the reins. We must constantly choose to surrender every emotion to the supernatural control of God because when we do, the Holy Spirit empowers that choice, produces control and transforms emotional bondage into emotional freedom. Learning to control anger is a crucial life lesson. The people around us want to see what happens when life pushes our buttons or squeezes our emotions. While God created us with the capacity for emotions, it is our responsibility to control them instead of allowing them to control us.

When Jesus saw money-changers desecrating the temple of God, He was furious! Yet, He modeled the right way to harness emotions and use them for good. I have heard many Bible teachers and preachers attempt to soften the response of Jesus, but the truth is – He was irate! I can almost see His face shrouded in plain old fury as He contemplated His options. If I had been in His place, I can tell you that those wicked men would have been toast, but before Jesus faced the intruders, He stepped aside to braid a whip, not because He had completed “Whip Braiding 101,” but because He was taking the time to harness His emotions. Jesus then used that harnessed anger to drive the money-changers out of the temple, correcting a wrong. We choose where to invest every ounce of emotional energy we possess. Like Jesus, we must learn to invest wisely, in order to reap the benefits of healthy emotions, harnessed and trained by godly discipline.

Emotional bankruptcy is too often responsible for the destruction of our emotional health as well as the health of our relationships. When we value success over obedience or comfort over character, the result is a life without balance and purpose. We must intentionally monitor emotional withdrawals and the impact they will have on the life journey to which God has called us.

Daily life provides the opportunity for countless emotional withdrawals that are good, right and ordained by God. I will never forget the night we found a broken and defeated young pastor standing at our front door. With tears streaming down his face, he told us his wife was having an affair and wanted a divorce. Certain that his ministry was doomed, this precious and gifted servant poured out his pain and defeat. For months, Dan and I ministered to this stellar young man, loving him, encouraging him, making him part of our family while he tried desperately to save his marriage.

When it became clear that his wife was determined to leave, we repeatedly assured him that God would once again use him for Kingdom work. Today, that once broken young man is married to a beautiful, godly woman who adores him and they have three incredible children. The church he now pastors is exploding in growth, changing lives and impacting the world for Jesus Christ! The time and energy we poured into this young man was a worthy emotional investment, to say the least, and one of our greatest blessings in ministry.

However, some emotional deposits are not good, right, healthy or God-ordained. Each day is jam-packed with lifeless places in which we can invest emotional energy. There are those who look to us to be their faithful savior or an always available crisis manager. Those roles belong to God alone.

We all know about bounced checks. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why banks don’t adopt my obviously superior philosophy about checking accounts. It goes something like this, “As long as there are checks, there is money.” Sadly, my current bank is rather narrow-minded in this area, so the reality is that our checks will bounce when our bank account is overdrawn and out of balance. The same is true in life.

We constantly need to check our emotional balance, guarding the emotional withdrawals we allow and diligently making consistent emotional deposits. Prayer, solitude, Bible study, friendships, service, accountability and a guarded thought life are just a few of the deposits that can make the difference between emotional health and emotional bankruptcy. Paul says it well, “God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to live our lives doing” (Ephesians 2:10, NCV). In other words, we need to do what God has called us to do – period.

Emotional imbalance occurs when we operate in our own strength, doing our “own thing” instead of wholly depending upon God and living in the parameters of His will. When we abandon all that we are to His strength, purpose and power, the Father deposits everything we need to accomplish every good work He created us to do.

Let’s Pray
Father, I praise You for giving me the gift of emotions. Please help me learn how to manage and control those emotions so that they are assets instead of liabilities. I want to become a godly woman of discipline, but I can’t even start that journey without your power. I choose to spend time in Your Word and in prayer. I submit my emotions to You and ask that You use them in my life for Your glory. In Jesus’s name, amen.

October 23, 2012
How to Manage Emotions Part 1
Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. (Proverbs 25:28, NIV).

Friend to Friend
You have probably discovered the truth that you simply cannot trust your emotions because they are unreliable, misleading and will constantly betray you. A friend verbally blasts you and rage consumes your spirit. Your business is in decline and depression slithers into your heart. Caught in the comparison trap, you find yourself avoiding those who are more successful. Anger is a constant companion, finances are tight and rest is a distant memory. A sense of bone-deep weariness saturates your soul as your own heart ridicules the authenticity of your life. “You might as well give up. It’s no use. Just quit!” the enemy taunts.

Each day seems to offer the perfect setting for negative emotions to take hold of and destroy a life, but daily life is also the perfect setting for emotional control to shine. Control puts emotions in their God-shaped place, discarding negative emotions as the spiritual leeches they are while safeguarding and reinforcing positive emotions. I am amazed at the number of people who base eternal decisions on feelings while seeking confirmation and even direction from emotional responses. I almost missed one of the highest plans for my life because it didn’t feel right.

My husband, Dan, was Youth Pastor at Sheridan Hills Baptist in Hollywood, Florida, where Bill Billingsley, one of the greatest men I have ever known, was senior pastor. He and his amazing wife, Betty Jean, had an enormous impact on me personally and on the ministry of speaking and writing to which God has now called me. It was in the midst of my God-ordained transformation at Sheridan Hills and the youth program’s greatest growth that Dan dropped the bomb – he felt God calling him back to Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Well, I felt God calling him to stay put!

I loved Sheridan Hills. It was home. Going back to seminary meant I would have to go back to teaching elementary school. Teaching wasn’t the problem, but placing our son, Jered, in daycare was. We had waited so long for this chosen baby, and the thought of handing over his care to strangers broke my heart. How could this possibly be God’s plan when it felt so wrong?

My favorite worship time at Sheridan Hills was the Wednesday night service — for two reasons. I enjoyed the contemporary worship and in-depth Bible teaching. I also treasured the fact that, each week, while Dan was in meetings and Jered was in the nursery, I could slip into the empty, darkened auditorium for an hour of solitude.  However, the Wednesday night after Dan shared the numbing probability of our return to seminary, my usually refreshing solitude dissolved into a tantrum of crying, praying and pleading with God to let us stay.

When a hand gently patted my shoulder, I looked up into the tear-filled eyes of my pastor. “I have something to tell you,” he said. Pastor Billingsley was not only a spiritual mentor in my life, but a loving father figure as well.  Expecting a word of wisdom or encouragement, I was shattered by his words, “I have cancer.” Speechless, we sat in pain-filled silence, weeping; each flailing in our own sea of emotions and questions. Bill Billingsley then spoke the words that have guided my steps from the moment he gave them life. “Mary, just remember that God’s will penalizes no one.”

I immediately knew I had a choice to make. I could stubbornly hold on to my emotional comfort or submit to God’s will. My choice to obey God plotted the course for an incredible journey filled with purpose, a life of sharing God’s hope and healing with women across the world through speaking and writing. Had my emotions ruled, I would have missed God’s best and highest plan for my life.

Emotions are a gift from God. While emotions themselves are not sin, the place we give them can be. Since God created us with the capacity for strong emotions, we can rest assured that He has a plan for managing them. It is a step-by-step plan that begins with our commitment to being honest and transparent about every emotion, especially the negative ones.

Step one:Identify the source of negative emotions. Proverbs 23:7 (NIV) reminds us of a simple but powerful truth, “For as a man thinks, so is he.” Negative emotions are nourished in many ways – by daily challenges, a painful past, hurt or rejection, an undisciplined thought life or Satan himself. Some people qualify as “carriers” because they not only transmit negative emotions but constantly use others as their personal dumping ground.  In managing negative emotions, it is imperative that we identify their source and eliminate it.

Step two: Label negative emotions correctly. We are masters at mislabeling emotions because we fear exposing our true emotions will affect the way others see us. It is time for us to take off and burn the emotional masks we wear because healing and restoration begin at the point of emotional integrity.

Going back to seminary proved to be a spiritual marker for our family. At first, I cried every day and seethed in anger each night. I couldn’t blame God so I blamed Dan! I missed being home with Jered, even though he loved the seminary daycare and Miss Nancy, his incredibly gifted and caring teacher. I complained about others raising my son, even though Dan picked him up after lunch each day and kept him every afternoon. I resented having to work, even though my teaching assignment was at one of the best elementary schools in Fort Worth and my principal was a precious Christian man.

Gradually, God broke my hardened heart as I realized that Jered was flourishing in daycare as he made wonderful friends, learned how to adjust to changes, and enjoyed priceless time with his dad. Teaching school became a passion and, in many ways, prepared me for the calling I now live.

Looking back, I now see how I gave negative emotions free reign. The result was wasted emotional energy, health problems, spiritual disobedience, and mental exhaustion. Do not walk that path, girlfriend. Instead, right now, commit to emotional integrity and discipline. God will surely empower that commitment.

Let’s Pray
Father, I come to You, knowing I have allowed emotions to dictate my actions. I no longer want to live at the mercy of my fickle emotions. I want to control and manage them in a way that pleases You and brings emotional discipline to my life. Today, I choose to surrender the control of my emotions to You. In Jesus’s name, amen.

In this series, we have been discussing the need of emotional healing and the process for healing. As with most progressions in this ethereal journey of Christianity, emotional healing is a process. In discussing healing it is important to truly understand what healing means and to do so we will deal with it in the physical sense initially.

 

Many people confuse being cured with being healed. This is one of the reasons many people never experience true healing; they get trapped in the cured state. Being cured is experiencing the elimination of the source and symptoms of an illness, whereas being healed means being restored to the original state of existence before the illness originated. Let’s use cancer for example. When an illness as devastating as cancer enters the life of a person, it brings with it more than the physical challenges of the illness itself, but it brings psychological, emotional and spiritual challenges as well. It can challenge your faith, strain your relationships (including your relationship with God), disrupt your finances, and so much more.

 

When a cancer patient finally wins their battle with the disease, it is just the beginning of the healing process. There has to be a recovery and restoration from the damage that the disease caused. The cure brought relief and healing will bring restoration. Healing brings the positioning to reengage life in full capacity of your God given potential.

 

Now, let’s translate this into emotional healing. When you are emotionally damaged because of past hurts, disappointments and emotional assault, the first thing is to bring relief from the situation. This begins with removing yourself from the hostile environment and then forgiving and releasing the culprit from their debt to you. Now the healing process begins. This is where God begins to add back to you all that the assailant robbed you of: Self-esteem, self-worth, identity, purpose, vision, sense of destiny and more. So, in essence, being cured is the elimination of the source and symptoms and healing is being made whole.

 

What I want to speak with you about today is identity. What and who are you identifying yourself with? How are you viewing your situation? All of this carries immense weight in the healing process.

 

When a person has suffered emotional abuse, they have become disconnected from the true source of their identity, Christ. Through the malevolent treatment by others, they have been conditioned to identify with what that treatment implies or in many cases what their perpetrator has said concerning them. In reconnecting with the true source of their identity, this person is reconnected with their purpose and destiny. This is not an overnight process and dependent upon the length and extent of the abuse, this can be a lengthy process. The one thing to understand is that God is more than able to reach down into the deepest pit to rescue and restore anyone willing to call on His name.

 

John 8:32 says, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” What truth is in view here? The true source of your identity, Christ. The only true revelation of self, the Holy Spirit. The only one that will never forsake you, God the Father. It is the reunion and sometimes the introduction to the only one that has the power to bring you to the fullness of your purpose.

 

The secondary truth is the truths that these initial truths will reveal. When you become acquainted with the source of your identity, you become aware that this identity comes with some extremely powerful assets. Becoming acquainted with your identity reminds you that you are more than a conqueror (Rom. 8:37). Identifying with Christ assures you that you are a special, unique, chosen and ordained person; personally chosen by God to proclaim His Greatness (1 Pet. 2:9). This new identity bears with it the knowledge that its bearing has been grafted you into the Royal family of God and has given you eternal security within the family. This identity brings knowledge of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and all the power associated with it.

 

Identity is a powerful force. That which you identify with establishes your path, approach, perspective and ultimately, your destiny.

 

Paul said, “If any man be in Christ he is a new creation, behold all this of the old man have passed away, and all things have become new (2 Cor. 5:17). Stop believing the lies of the enemy; stop accepting his erroneous assessments of you. God has established you as a new creation. As Satan attempts to remind you of your past; its hurts, disappointments, and failures, God desires to erase the negative impressions of the past that are so heavily engrained in your psyche. He desires to restore you. He simply needs to you seek Him and surrender to Him so that He can begin His work in you.

 

One of the greatest hindrances to this part of the healing process is the natural proclivity to conceal the past due to embarrassment and shame; however, there is great power in sharing your past struggles. First, it lifts the burden of carrying something that is too heavy for you to carry. Second, it allows others to see God’s ability to transform and heal. While you are healing you are also giving hope to others. Find your identity in Christ and allow that identity to bring restoration. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

Release It: Damaged Goods No More Series

(Installment 2)

 

 

In the first installment of this series on emotional healing, we discovered the need to forgive all those that have harmed us. We came to the conclusion that without forgiveness the healing process is placed on pause. This is why so many people walk around in constant defeat because they have made themselves perpetual victims. When you refuse to forgive you allow the perpetrator of your past pains to assault and violate you over and over again. The way that you reclaim your life is forgiving that person and moving forward.

 

Well the first step in moving forward is releasing all of the hurt. This is very closely related to forgiveness. Some believe they are they same, but they are not; however, they are closely related. Forgiveness is the conscious choice to release someone of the debt of their past transgressions towards you. This simply takes the willingness to do so. On the other hand, releasing it all from the conscious and subconscious is an entirely different matter.

 

To say that releasing the hurts and disappointments of the past is easy would be a gross misrepresentation of the truth. First of all, the natural human proclivity to dwell on the negative will constantly pull you toward your past hurts. Then the enemy will gladly remind you of your past when you seem to be moving forward. He knows the negative impact of holding on to the past. You can never effectively move into your future, which is ultimately moving you toward your destiny, as long as you have not released the past.

 

God desires to do something new in your life, but he can never install the new when the old is still entrenched in your existence.

 

Listen to what Bishop T. D. Jakes has to say on the matter:

 

“Don’t stop PECKING! Instead of feeling battered, choose to have the faith that you can rebuild your life! Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) gives us a reminder that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. Do not yield power over your life to others in the process of releasing the trauma of your past. “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old” (Isaiah 43:18 KJV). Tenaciously gather what power is within your reach and rebuild your life, no matter how battered you might feel by circumstances. Get ready for POSITIONING, EXPOSURE, COURAGE and KNOWLEDGE!”

 

Remember not the former things, do not call them to mind, they have served their purpose. When you continually hold on to the past, bad or good. You hold on to what has decayed and has no use, but to corrupt, distract, and hinder your progression. In verse 19 of the aforementioned scriptural passage, God says, “Behold (look and see, give attention to this truth), I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert (Isa. 43:19, AMP)

 

God desires to do something new in your life, but He can’t work amongst all of the junk that you are holding on to. He wants to restore your joy and introduce you to your destiny. He desires to reinvigorate your passion to live and enjoy His presence. If you are honest, many of you have been so overwhelmed by your past you have not been able to truly enjoy God. To take it a step further, many of you have allowed your past to convince you that you are not really worthy of God’s presence or the calling and anointing he has placed on your life.

 

Allow me to share a little secret with you: No one, I mean no one is worthy of God in and of themselves. Not one of the spiritual leaders that you reverence has done anything worthy of their gifts and callings. I learned a long time ago that God does not call the qualified; he qualifies those that he calls. I will take it even one step further and say that God doesn’t call the qualified, He seems to call the most odd, awkward and seemingly useless people he can find. Let’s see; there is Moses, the tied tongued murderer who fled. There is David, the young shepherd boy who became the playboy king who murdered a man to hide his adultery. There is Saul who persecuted the church with great vigor, but Christ chose Him on the Damascus Road. There was a man named Abram who was old and beyond his years of youth, but God renamed him Abraham and designated him to father and entire race. Trust me, your past can’t measure up to half the pasts of the great people of God that preceded you.

 

Yet, the enemy will use those around you, many times believers, to plant seeds of inadequacy and unworthiness in the soil of your mind. If you are not diligent in rebuking and uprooting these seeds, they will take root and render you ineffective.

 

 

Remember it was Paul, who said, 11 That if possible I may attain to the [[c] spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].

12 Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.

13 I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,

14 I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward. (Phil. 3:11-14, AMP)

Paul understood that it was his spiritual responsibility to release the past and strive toward the future. Have you ever tried to run while looking back? Well that is what you are doing when you continue to hold on to the past. Release it so that you can run with purpose and conviction. Release it so that God can do that new thing in your life. Release it so that you can experience all that God has for you. Release it so that you can become a victor instead of a victim.

This is your day of release. Take back your power from those that have hurt you. Take back your ability to prosper and live within the will of God’s design for you. You have the spiritual DNA of Christ and you have been reborn to walk in greatness as you represent our Lord. Shake yourself loose right now. Shake yourself loose from the hurt and the bitterness. Shake yourself loose from self-pity. Shake yourself loose from past-dwelling induced mediocrity. This is your day of release. Walk into your new freedom. God is doing a new thing while you read this. Walk in the newness of life! ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

 

 

I was recently speaking a person I admire immensely concerning the need for emotional healing in order to fully fulfill our destinies. That conversation has inspired and encouraged me to take on just one more endeavor. Today marks the beginning of a series that addresses the need for emotional and spiritual healing and emphasizes how emotional healing is obtained.

 

I read posts on Facebook, Twitter and numerous other social sites as well as field multitudinous calls from those that are broken spiritually and emotionally. What I realized is that we are literally dealing with an epidemic of broken people. Sometimes I feel like I overuse the word “epidemic”. I ask myself, am I being melodramatic? The answer is no. Unfortunately, we are living in a nation of broken people. People suffering from obesity, physical abuse, emotional abuse, abandonment, confusion and frustration. Just look at the boom in the number of self-help books that have been written in the past 20 years. The problem is that emotional healing is not a self-help endeavor. There are too many people attempting to self-correct or self-heal. I want to make sure that I am completely lucid when I say that true healing comes from God and God alone. You simply make yourself available and submit to his movement.

 

The reason that I feel so compelled to write this series is that there are lot of people that are out there saying that healing is needed and they either provide no direction in obtaining healing or they are nebulous and ambiguous at best when describing the healing process. I want to reach out to those that are suffering from emotional damage and direct them to the feet of Christ so they may experience the healing that I have personally experienced.

 

Some may think that it is the multiple degrees in theology that qualifies me to write on this topic, but it is not. My studies have equipped me to engage God’s Word in a way that allows me to adequately teach and share His precious truths, but what qualifies me to speak about emotional healing is I have experienced emotional strain to put it lightly. I was standing at the door of perdition, one step away from total destruction when Christ called out to me; “Come unto me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest (Matt. 11:28).” I was in need of deliverance from the pain and hurt that could be traced back to my childhood to a great extent, but God rescued me and restored my joy. So, a great deal of what I am writing will not be information gleaned from a textbook, but an expression of what experience has taught me.

 

Many of you are in need of rest; many need that same healing I experienced, you have been yearning to be delivered from the pain that has paralyzed you for so long. It is my prayer that as we take this journey over the next several weeks that you will begin your healing process by which God will restore your joy and re-establish the peace your life so desperately needs.

It is my belief that the two major sides in emotional and psychological healing are polarized and many believe they are diametrically opposed to one another. I am speaking of faith and psychology. I will endeavor to bridge the gap between the two as together they become synergistically powerful.

 

On one side, psychology provides a systematic process by which emotional stability can be re-established and healing accomplished. The thing is by itself, it lacks the Divine touch of God and denies the healing power of the Holy Spirit. On the other side, we have a bunch of believers verbally proclaiming their faith and desire for healing, but they continue to walk in defeat. This is because the healing process requires an understanding of behavior and how it impacts a person’s ability to heal. In an extremely simplified analogy, an alcoholic can speak healing and deliverance through faith, but hanging out in a bar will not be conducive to deliverance or healing.

 

I believe that a great deal of the anarchy, chaos, and inadequacy witnessed within the Christian nucleus of this country can be attributed to unhealed emotions. We have a bunch of abnormal people attempting to carry out normal lives. We have broken people marrying. We have broken people parenting. We have broken people taking on positions of leadership. The list goes on. Broken people raise broken children. Broken individuals create broken marriages.

 

I entitled this series “Damaged Goods No More” because God awaits to take what the enemy damaged and restore it. When you are no longer damaged goods you can engage your purpose with efficacy and certainty. When the cracks in your armor have been mended you can withstand the pressures of the moment. Last night I was out for a ride on my bike and noticed a great deal of commotion near the freeway. When I went to investigate I discovered that a man had jumped to his death. Immediately, my mind begin to ponder what could have been going through this man’s mind at the point he decided to end his life. Before this year I could not understand the force that would drive a person to end it all, but this year I became acquainted with a darkness that was stifling and suffocating. For the first time in my life I was afraid that I might break. Did I contemplate suicide? No, but that was by the grace of God and due to the fact that I had received emotional healing, which prepared me to withstand the excruciating pain and the immense pressure.

 

God desires that you be whole and fit for kingdom work, so he longs to heal and strengthen you in your weaknesses. Please understand that this is not about circumventing life’s struggles, God has great purpose hidden in your struggles. This series is about becoming whole so that you are prepared to engage life’s struggles with confidence.

 

What are some of the ways that damaged emotions manifest themselves?

  • A deep sense of worthlessness – this includes feelings of anxiety, inadequacy and an inferiority complex.
  • Perfectionism – this includes ideas of never being able to satisfy oneself, God and others.
  • Hyper-sensitivity – being offended by the slightest of actions. This person has normally been hurt or disappointed in a manner that was extraordinarily painful.
  • Fear-filled – this person is overpowered by the simplest of circumstances and is constantly struggling with the question “why?”.
  • Sexual promiscuity – this person is looking to fill their emotional void through a physical connections.
  • Proclivity to enter abusive relationships – This can be tied to feelings worthless.

 

As with any issue I address, the Bible will be my foundation. Let’s look at what Peter had to say about the Word of God:

 

For His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that [are requisite and suited] to life and godliness, through the [[d]full, personal] knowledge of Him Who called us by and to His own glory and excellence (virtue). (2 Peter 1:3, AMP)

 

Let us also look at what Paul had to say concerning the scriptures:

 

16 Every Scripture is God-breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, [and] for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God’s will in thought, purpose, and action),

17 So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16-17, AMP)

 

 

So we can clearly see the ability of scripture to provide direction as well as provide that which is necessary to become functional in kingdom work. I want you to know that no matter the depth of your emotional damage, god is able. Irregardless to how long you have languished at the bottom of the pit of despair, God will incline to your call.

 

There are numerous elements to the healing process, but I can’t think of one thing that hinders the healing process more than the unwillingness to forgive and let go.

 

22 And Jesus *answered saying to them, “(R) Have faith in God. 23 (S)Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be grantedhim.24 Therefore I say to you, (T)all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.25 Whenever you(U)stand praying,(V)forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.26 [[f](W)But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions.”] (Mark 11:22-26, NASB)

 

Forgiveness is the first step in the healing process. Not only receiving forgiveness from God, but offering forgiveness to anyone that has offended you. In the aforementioned scriptural passage, right after Jesus emphasizes the power in faith-filled prayer, He immediately points to the quickest way to render it ineffective; unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is the refusal to release someone of an emotional debt they have to you because of some wrong perpetrated by them.

 

Most people base their decision not to forgive on their feelings, but forgiveness has nothing to do with feelings. Forgiveness is a choice and you can choose to forgive irrespective to your feelings. When you refuse to forgive you immediately stifle your healing and block your blessings. Jesus did not say to periodically forgive, He said that whenever you stand praying, forgive. This points to the need to make sure that you have forgiven. Many of you have been fighting to breakthrough to God for your healing, but He is waiting on you to let of the very thing that is emotionally rotting you away from the inside out. No healing is possible until you let go.

 

Many of you are thinking that this person does not deserve your forgiveness, but Jesus never indicated that deserving forgiveness was a prerequisite for offering it. In fact, in our own relationship with God, if our forgiveness was based on whether we deserved it or not, we would be wallowing in the guilt of our sin. Another thing that unforgiveness does is block us from experiencing the emancipation of God’s forgiveness which places an unbearable weight upon our already fragile shoulders.

 

So, whatever you are holding against someone for past transgressions, let it go. This also includes forgiving yourself. Sometimes the hardest one to forgive is yourself. When you take a look at how you have screwed up a particular situation and presumably ruined your life, it can be easy to hold yourself hostage through unforgiveness. You must take your failures to God, only his shoulders are broad enough to bear them. When I began my healing process, I had to forgive my father who I had never met (The first time I saw him was at his funeral), but more important I had to forgive myself for my own failures as a father. I had to acknowledge my responsibility in the matter, but just as quickly I had to turn it over to God. The burden is not mine to bear.

 

A quick side note:  I have had people ask me if I believed opening up my life and being transparent about my past failures was beneficial to my ability to minister. My answer is always, absolutely. No man, no matter how powerful his contribution to the kingdom is without a list of failures. In fact, I have seen where some of the greatest men of God had some of the greatest failures to their account. Jacob, who later became Israel (by whom the nation of Israel was named), was a deceiver who stole his brother’s birthright. Even so, he wrestled with God at Peniel and God changed his name from Jacob (deceiver) to Israel (Prince with God). Elijah lost faith at the threat of Jezebel. David ordered a census and caused the death of 70,000 of his best soldiers, and let’s not forget about Beersheba (and yet, God called him a man after His own heart). Paul was a murderer and Peter denied Christ. So why would I attempt to present an image of someone that has never stumbled?

 

I digress. Back to forgiveness. When you forgive you retrieve the power that others have stolen from you or in some cases you have given away. Before God can move in to heal you the wall of unforgiveness must be demolished. God wants to do something extraordinarily exceptional in your life. He desires to heal you, but He wants to do more than just heal. God wants to supercharge your purpose and fine tune your vision. He wants to position you to be in the midst of His movement. Yes, healing is available and so much more. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace

%d bloggers like this: